todays thoughts include me being super obnoxious, but whatevs
- i constantly praise you at school because you and everyone else around you knows that you deserve the praise, however you’ve developed an annoying ass cockiness that leads you to believe that i’ll always look up to you… so you somehow give it an OK whenever you choose to insult me
- as cliche as this is, grades are a really poor way of judging someone’s intelligence. there are way more intelligences than being capable of solving an equation, but because that’s what school’s all about (essentially: logical thinking, english comprehension) that’s what people think intelligence is all about. today, my friend showed me his GPA, which is a low two-point-something. he also showed me his CAHSEE and CST scores, which were significantly higher than mine. he even said to me, “i’m not a dumbass, i’m just hella lazy.” i told him, “it’s okay me too.”
- pleasantly learned that my GPA (despite the low grades from home school and first semester of this school year) is actually a low three-point-something. which really does make me feel better about myself. what will always irritate me forever and ever is the fact that my home school teacher failed me in pre-cal last year and that i had to retake it again this year. i should have went to summer school, but i didn’t. i was convinced summer was my break from everything that sucked.
- cutting out all “bad” foods (i.e: chips, pizza, fast food, fried foods, etc) isn’t your automatic expressway to being skinny. i think if anything, you should be taking gradual steps in reducing your consumption of bad foods. that way, your cravings seem less tough to handle. lol like weaning with puppies.
- actually that’s the problem with people in general (from what i’ve /personally/ observed). they think because they immediately jump into exercising/a workout, they’re going to become slimmer/more toned/whatever they want. but i feel like that’s part of why people tend to give up so quickly too. it just becomes another phase… lolidk
- being emotional doesn’t necessarily mean you’re sensitive, right? you’re just driven by your emotion, right? like for instance, [almost] everything you do is inspired/affected by your emotions? you don’t do what you do necessarily because you’ve strategically thought it out, but because your gut/feelings/whatever influenced you to? why do people look at emotional people so “negatively?” i mean, yeah there definitely are sensitive emotional people… aaaaaand then the drive to write anymore about this is gone
- is it okay for people to be beautifying and romanticizing self-infliction? although that sounds entirely hypocritical… okay so quickly: i think everyone knows i’m a cutter, and some may even know how much i actually really enjoy it (for reasons that i’m way too lazy to type about right now and ALSO people never understand anyways). but when i see other people blog about how lovely they are just for cutting… i can’t understand what they’re talking about. what’s wrong with me, is what i think. i mean, who made me the almighty judge for who cuts for the ~right reasons~? why do i feel like whoever cuts and doesn’t give their reason for it is just a childish band wagoner? i can’t understand why i make these judgements. and it makes me feel stupid and mean and ugly.
- why do people beautify / glorify depression?
- all of this shit makes me feel like isolating myself even more.
